Greetings!

Hope you had a "good enough" week - A week that was gratifying and satisfying for you.  And if not, I hope you figured out what you need to do in order to make next week better!

This week, I came accross two things that really got me thinking about how we operate in the world and what impact that has on our lives. I hope you enjoy reading this week's ezine!

Many blessings,

Dr. Eric

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Vending machines are very simple. Put money in, push the right buttons and we get the reward we paid for (almost like a Skinner Box*).

We are all born with some basic fears. Research has suggested that babies are born with the fear of falling, loud noises and crawling - fears for most of us, through a process of habituation, begin to fade. But what of the fears we learn? Our days are bombarded by fear mongering of the worst kind.

Gloom and doom. Even some of our brightest and best are out there using the current economic situations to hock their wares.

Recently I read one article and watched one video that were written by and starred two of my heros. I won't mention their names in this article at this time (this is not a tease). If I do, I just want to be very clear with myself why I am doing that before I just do it. They were both talking about how our country is going down the tubes, that we are headed for socialism and loosing our freedom.

While everyone has the right to his or her own opinion, what I want to look at is our automatic response to that kind of fear mongering. If the person saying these things is a respectable source, or even better, a source we respect (deserved or not), we listen with a great deal of head nodding and agreement. By the time they are done, if they are offering a service or product, we are likely to be on board and make a purchase. (Remember my vending machine analogy?)

So now the button is pushed, you react (mostly out of fear) and presto, you get a reward, or so you think.  But let's look back on this process. Our fear mongers also get a reward and that reward is CASH. Is this what Covey had in mind when he talked about a win-win resolution?

"A fool and his money are soon parted." - Thomas Tusser, a 16th Century British farmer, horticulturalist, chorister, musician and writer.

So we know that fear is a button that can be pushed in order to get you to buy! I am not evaluating any service or product you buy. They may be worth the price but nothing that is purchased just to alleviate your fear, (unless it is a phobia that is keeping you from living your life, like the fear of going outside, being with people, etc.) is the way to be a conscious consumer.

Now here is the really sad part. Most people who buy in this way, rarely ever use the product or service fully! Now you may be asking; Why is that? Well very simply - fear can only be relieved by reality (this is different when dealing with a phobia or other psychological condition).

So what is the other button that can be pushed by marketers?

GREED. You can make more money, have more sex, be more powerful etc., etc...

Again, as one very famous marketer of information products often says, selling dollars at a discount is easy - in other words, if I can tap into your greed and, yes, you have it, you and your money will be separated. Get rich quick schemes don't work and if they do, they don't work very long. Actually this is true for any _____ quick schemes.

Ever see an add that says, Lose 20 lbs slowly? But real research suggests that the only way to lose weight in a healthy way and keep it off is to lose it slowly and steadily.

Now there is a new button that can be pushed. That is the button of spiritual anything. It could be running a successful business based on spiritual values or happiness through spirituality. The spiritual self industry is still a booming industry and while churches and temples may be experiencing all time lows, spiritual self-help books, CDs, DVDs, are soaring.

This only suggests just how spiritually bereft we really are but most are not bereft, they just simply want answers to life's tough questions in a fast-food fashion.  And these questions are not really answerable by anyone else but you. You may choose to get some support and help while you answer those questions for yourself but anyone who claims to have an answer for you is probably not a good person to help you.

Years ago I did a workshop called spirituality as a defense against everything - the misuse of spirituality. This is a defense against reality and that is ultimately what I want to talk about.

Flights into fantasy do not solve real world problems.

Great ideas are just that until hard work implements them. We do so much to avoid reality we often do not know where we are standing and if we dont know where we stand and keep defending ourselves against reality then we are truly powerless living in a fantasy world. Many argue that reality is perception and I would not disagree. However there is reality and then there is REALITY.

My point here is, your life and the way you live it is spirituality. They are not separate.  Fear, greed and spirituality (at least today) are 3 significant buttons that can be pushed in order to get you to buy or do something. However the long term lasting impact of those kinds of get _______ quick schemes don't actually work and actually may be part of the cause that has gotten us in the situation we find ourselves today.

You are responsible for your buttons! If you don't want them pushed then you better wake up.

So how do you know when your buttons are being pushed? Here are some clues:

When you are saying to yourself or someone else the following: I need that! If I get that _____ then I will be able to _____. That _____ would make my life so much better - think of how much time I will save. They are on sale. Think of how much money I will save.

These are just some of the ways we rationalize and justify our impulsive vending machine behavior but after you say things like that, ask yourself: Is that true? How do I know this? What is the ecology of this purchase? What has my past behavior been when I have acted on these kinds of thoughts?

Remember, a real investment of your hard earned cash does one or more of these three things.

1. It saves you real time.

2. It saves you money.

3. It makes you money.

If it is not really doing and only promising then it may not be the answer to all your dreams.

"Remember, the answer to all your problems is in this little bottle" -- Lucy (from I Love Lucy)

There is no such thing as the answer to all your problems. Except for one and that is you!

Many blessings!

Dr. Eric

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Remember, set sail with us each week for our FREE Monday night Relation-Ship call!

"Wisdom of a Broken Heart" author joins me on this week's call!  Buddhist teacher and Author Susan Piver is joining me on this week's "Relation-ship" call. Don't miss the boat!

Check out www.susanpiver.com to learn more about Susan.

Date: May 24th, 2010
Time: 8PM Eastern
Call in number: 218-862-1300 then punch in this pin # 875333 (local and long distance charges apply)

"See" you on the call!

To your relationships!
Dr. Eric

* Skinner Box - An operant conditioning chamber (also known as the Skinner box) is a laboratory apparatus used in the experimental analysis of behavior to study animal behavior. The operant conditioning chamber was created by B. F. Skinner while he was a graduate student at Harvard University (Masters in 1930 and doctorate in 1931). It is used to study both operant conditioning and classical conditioning. --Wikipedia