Not only do most helping professionals not tell you this, many don't even know it.

You see ultimately all help is self help.  No matter what a helping professional says or does YOU are the most important variable in personal growth and development. 

Effective "helping" is determined in a subjective way.  Again, you and your experience are the variables that matter.

So what the heck do I mean about all this? 

Unlike more traditional medical interventions like shrinking tumors or a clear reduction of symptoms, emotional and mental wellness is a little more vague.  You simply feel "better" and that indicates success.

Ok...so lets look at what really matters in terms of a helping relationship...

According to research, the most important variable in the helping relationship is the relationship itself. 

It's not about methods, techniques or anything like that.  It is based on how well you feel heard, understood and valued and counts for about 30% of successful helping relationships.

The other factor that is essential is what you do outside of that relationship.

Community, groups and other forms of support account for 40% of successful outcomes of "helping" relationships.

So when you want your life to improve, look closely at your helping relationships, if you have one, and look at the communities that you belong to and participate in and ask yourself if you are getting your needs met in both!

Many blessings to you, your life, your relationships and your work!

Eric G. Schneider, D. Min.

Many blessings,

Dr. E